批
改
B
y
A


g
e
l
a
本次批改严格按照ILETS大作文评分标准进行。ILETS大作文评分项：TR论证扣题度CC连贯性及一致性GRA语法范围及精准度LR词汇资源。文末会进行总评及打分。
作文题目
Schoolagechildre
a
dtee
agersusuallyliketodothesamethi
gsastheirfrie
dsbutpare
tsofte
haveadiffere
tideaaboutwhattheirchildre
shouldbedoi
g
Shouldpare
tsalwaysdecidehowchildre
spe
dtheirfreetime
学生作文
Ma
yschoolchildre
a
dtee
agersalwaysdothesimilarstufftogetherwhiletheirpare
tsusuallyhavediffere
topi
io
saboutwhattheirchildre
shoulddoFrommyperspectiveIthi
kpare
tsshould
otalwaysdecidethefreetimeofchildre
Tobegi
withge
eratio
gapisasig
ifica
tproblemwhichhappe
sbetwee
pare
tsa
dchildre
Itisi
evitablethatchildre
willhavediffere
tthoughtswiththeirpare
tsSeco
dlyaschildre
theyarelivi
gi
amoder
a
ddevelopi
gworldwhichmakesthemcha
getheirmi
dsfreque
tlyHoweverma
ypare
tsarequiterelucta
ttoaccept
ewideasa
dtech
ologiesThereforetheirviewswillbedissimilarwiththeirchildre
whicharereallyimpossibletoreacha
agreeme
tAtlastchildre
prefertryi
gout
ewadve
turouschalle
geswhereastheirpare
tsarerigida
do
lywa
tstablelifeSopare
tsca
otreallyco
trola
ddecidefortheirchildre
Furthermoretheideasofpare
tsare
otquitealwayscorrecta
dsometimemightmisleadtheirchildre
Ofcoursethereis
odoubtthatoldpeoplehavemorelifeexperie
cesa
dca
ha
dlea
ydifficultsituatio
si
mostoftimeHoweverthemoder
worldis
otastheythi
kasitusedtobesotheymightu
derestimatesomecircumsta
ceswhichmighthave
egativeeffectso
theirchildre
Forexamplemostpare
tsbelievethataslo
gastheirchildre
ca
obtai
higherdegreesfromu
iversitieswilldefi
itelyhavebetterfutureCo
trastyi
realitytheabilitiesa
dmoralsta
dardsofchildre
aremuchmoreimporta
ttha
justo
lyu
iversitydegrees
I
co
clusio
pare
tsshouldletchildre
tocreatetheirow
worlda
dgivethemfreedomtoassig
theirleisuretimewhichmightleadthemtosuccesseve
tually
Words279
文中标识：
用词不当逻辑错误语法错误修改添加
fMa
yschoolchildre
a
dtee
agersalwaysdothesimilarstufftogetherwhiletheirpare
tsusuallyhavediffere
topi
io
saboutwhattheirchildre
shoulddoFrommyperspectiveIthi
kpare
tsshould
otalwaysdecidethefreetimeofchildre
Tobegi
withge
eratio
gapisasig
ifica
tproblemwhichhappe
sbetwee
pare
tsa
dchildre
Itisi
evitablethatchildre
willhavediffere
tthoughtswithfromtheirpare
tsFori
sta
cetheyhavetheirow
prefere
cetochoosi
gmajorscareersoreve
thewaysoflivi
gcc：这里需要给出一点他们怎么个不同，比如选未来的职业r