o
eislikelytosucceed”②要避免汉语式的表达。如：Shewasbor
i
19921212要改成“Shewasbor
o
December121992”。③某些表达不到位。如：在表达“陈若琳，1992年12月12日生于江苏南通”时就遗漏了“出生地”。
应该表达为“Shewasbor
i
Na
to
gJia
gsuProvi
ceo
December121992”。“…sheachievedtwogoldmedalseve
tually”要表达成“…shewo
twogoldmedalsatthe2012Lo
do
OlympicGameseve
tually”④要避免“画蛇添足”的现象。如：“Che
RuoLi
isourpride”这一句简直就是一句废话。⑤习作增加的要点给人的印象是：有点不着边际。如：⑺Seco
dweshouldtryourbesttoachieveourgoalsfromthemea
i
goffighti
gspirita
dthe
wewillsucceed⑻Lastweca
lear
muchsuchascooperatio
fromfighti
g⒁Weca
succeedifwetakemeasurestofightfrom
owo
等句子让读者感到似有“凑数”的嫌疑。【修改后的习作】
3
fChe
Ruoli
wasbor
i
Na
to
gJia
gsuProvi
ceo
December121992a
dstarted
toswimwhe
shewas4Sheovercameagreatma
ydifficultiesa
dworkedhardFighti
g
spiritledhertosucceeda
dshewo
twogoldmedalsatthe2012Lo
do
OlympicGames
eve
tually
What’sthemea
i
goffighti
gspiritFirstiti
spiresustofacethesetback
a
d
difficulties
【参考答案】
Bor
i
Na
to
gJia
gsuProvi
ceo
December121992Che
Ruoli
tookupdivi
g
attheageoffourSi
cethe
shehasbee
trai
i
gharda
dovercomi
gwhatever
difficultythatshemeetsShewo
twogoldmedalsatthe2012Lo
do
OlympicGames
Itisherfighti
gspiritthathasledhertosuccess
I
myopi
io
fighti
gspiritplaysa
importa
trolei
ourlivesIte
courages
us
to
move
4
fr