们通过对一篇范文的点评来加强大家对上述四级作文特点及应对策略的认识。括号内为笔者的点评。ModelA
swerTheDayMyClassmatesFellIllorGotI
juredDuri
gtheSARSperiodi
thisspri
gtheyearof2003o
eofmyclassmatesLiMi
gwasstruckdow
bythevirusa
dwasimmediatelyse
ttohospital第一段,开篇点题,同学是如何生病的The
ewsspreadquicklyo
campusAtfirstwewereterrifieda
dwo
deredifwewerei
fectedtoo,Howeverthroughourgover
me
t’spublicityo
massmediawegraduallyco
queredthefeara
dsetouttotryourbesttohelpherSometeachersprovideddaily
ecessitieswhilesomestude
tsrecordedtheE
glishclassco
te
tsforhimsothatLiMi
gcould
otbeleftbehi
dWithourcarea
dco
cer
LiMi
grecoveredquickly第三段,详细叙述同学、老师是怎样帮助生病的同学的,条理清晰句式丰富Sucha
i
cide
tteachesusagoodmoralOursocietyisfullofloveworma
dpeacefuli
whichpeoplefromma
towoma
fromi
dividualtoi
dividualle
dothersaha
dJustlikeafamousso
ggoes“theworldwilltur
i
toheave
o
lyifeveryo
eco
tributesalittle”A
dIdobelievethatit’mygreatsho
ortolivei
thislovefilledparadise第三段,结尾叙述人与人之间的这种相互关爱关系给“我”的感受,引用歌词,很有说服力总的说来,本文切题,论证丰富生动,表达思想清楚,文字通顺,连贯性较好。基本上无大的语言错误,仅有个别小错误。打分:14分。
fr